Finding the Courage to Change: Sarah's Story

A journey through alcohol dependency using Motivational Interviewing

When Sarah first came to see me, she was adamant that alcohol wasn't the problem. "I can stop whenever I want,"

she told me in our first session, arms folded, gaze fixed on the middle distance. She had been referred through the Family Drug and Alcohol Court programme after concerns were raised about her parenting. She was frightened, defensive, and — understandably — not yet ready to look too closely at her drinking.

This is not unusual. In fact, it is one of the most common experiences in this work. People rarely arrive at a counsellor's door fully committed to change. More often, they arrive somewhere in the middle — aware on some level that things aren't right, but not yet sure they want to do anything about it.

Motivational Interviewing (MI) is an approach that meets people exactly where they are. Rather than confronting someone about their behaviour or telling them what they need to do, MI is built on listening — deeply and without judgement — to understand what matters most to the person sitting across from you.

With Sarah, the early sessions were not about alcohol at all. They were about her children. She lit up when she talked about her daughter's passion for drawing, her son's love of football. Slowly, a picture emerged of a mother who cared enormously — and who was, underneath the defensiveness, terrified of losing her family.

Over time, I began to gently reflect back what I was hearing. "It sounds like being a present mum is really important to you." She would nod. Then, carefully: "How do you feel alcohol fits in with that?" These are what MI practitioners call evocative questions — designed not to challenge, but to invite the person to explore their own thinking.

There is a concept in MI called the righting reflex — the counsellor's instinct to point out what's wrong and tell the client what to do. It feels helpful. It rarely is. When someone is told they need to change, the most natural human response is to push back. But when someone is helped to articulate their own reasons for change, in their own words, something different begins to happen.

Around our fourth session, Sarah said something that she would later describe as a turning point. "I don't want my kids to grow up remembering me with a glass in my hand." She hadn't been told that. She'd arrived at it herself, in her own time, through her own reflection. That is the quiet power of this work.

Sarah went on to engage with a structured alcohol treatment programme. There were difficult moments — a relapse at around the six-week mark, a period where she pulled back from sessions. But she returned. And the groundwork laid in those early conversations — the exploration of her values, her hopes, the life she wanted for her family — remained a thread she could hold onto.

All details in this account have been changed to protect confidentiality. "Sarah" is a composite, created to illustrate the MI approach in practice.